Metroplex Baby and Kids

8 Search Results for "autism"

• Mama Friendships – Are Yours A Mama Friendships – Are Yours At Risk?

  • From: Julie_Cole
  • Description:

     

    Maintaining friendships when you are a mama can be a tricky business. Often already juggling a hectic home life, work and children, while also trying to carve out a bit of time with Daddy-o, can leave little room for your girlfriends.

    The way I see it, there are a few friendship fizzling high risk situations:

    1) You become a mama: Many report that their friendships with single/childless girlfriends suffer. Mama feels they don’t understand why she doesn’t want to ditch the kid to go dancing every weekend. This has not actually been my experience. My single friends have shown extreme interest and understanding when it comes to my kids. And I am equally keen to hear their Sex in the City lifestyle stories.

    2) You have a child with a disability: Hate to say it, but mamas of kids with disabilities get ditched. I’ll explain why it happens in the autism world: you have a friend who brings her 3-year-old over for weekly playdates. Her kid can’t talk, has meltdowns for “no reason”, maybe he’s a bit aggressive, doesn’t relate to the other kids there and his behaviour is disruptive. The mama host thinks “Hmmm…this playdate would go much more smoothly if that kid with the problems doesn’t come”. The playdate invitations stop.

    3) You constantly bail on plans: When you regularly drop out of social plans at the last minute, eventually your friends will stop inviting you. I generally don’t accept invitations in the first place because of my bailing stats. But, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate receiving a low pressure “turn up if you can swing it” invitation. It makes me feel that I have not been forgotten, and also that there is some understanding about my situation.

    4) You become a Mama of Many: Right around the birth of your fourth child, families you normally socialize with suddenly stop inviting you over. Who can blame them – your family takes up their whole house.

    How have your friendships survived? What are the biggest friendship hurdles you’ve encountered in your mama life? Are you still close with the friends you had pre-kids, or did you shake it up socially when you hit the mama scene?

  • Blog post
  • 1 week ago
  • Views: 17
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• Nice Things You Say That Annoy Nice Things You Say That Annoy Me

  • From: Julie_Cole
  • Description:

    When we have our babies, it is natural to transform into “mama bear”, stopping at nothing to defend and protect. For the mama who has a child facing additional challenges, this instinct goes into overdrive. Having a child with autism has made me respond to certain comments irrationally. I can be oversensitive – even when comments are said in kindness or without any intention of harm.

    That is my disclaimer. If you’re curious about what common and harmless things you are saying that make my ears bleed, here goes:

    1) “All I want is a healthy baby.”
    I get that. It makes sense to me – health is the most important gift we can ask for. But, bring out my psycho sidekick self and you want to know what it hears? It hears that the very last thing you want is a child like mine. I know that’s not really what’s being said, but it’s what the little friend in my head is hearing!

    2) “Your son was born to you because you are strong and can handle it.”
    I understand and appreciate this is a compliment, but in those early and difficult days when I was digesting an autism diagnosis, I wanted to scream “So let me get this straight – I’m rewarded for being a competent parent by having a kid with autism?!” My rational self knows you are encouraging me but that little crazy me is turning red, stamping feet and yelling “it’s not FAIR” better than any 4-year-old you’ve encountered.

    3) “He’s lucky to have you.”
    The thing is, I’m lucky to have him. When I hear how fortunate he is to have me, it makes me feel like you see him as a burden. Please remember, I feel like I picked a four-leaf clover on the morning of his birth.

    So next time you say something completely innocent, and I start frothing at the mouth and growling, you’ll know that it’s a simple case of mama bear gone mad.

  • Blog post
  • 3 months ago
  • Views: 75
  • Not yet rated

• Thanks for the responses! Thanks for the responses!

  • From: tarahmom
  • Description:

    My son is almost 7, with moderate Autism. He is too old to qualify for ECI Services anymore. We are in contact with our local MHMR office, but they are sooo under-staffed and over-worked, it's hard to get anything out of them. We do not qualify for Medicaid bc my son receives Survivors benefits from his father who passed away. Soooo, that leaves us with word-of-mouth therapies and doctors, and I attend a TON of workshops and classes so I am always getting great information there. I have been on this Auti

  • 11 months ago
  • Views: 34
  • Forum: General...

• I'M A FAN OF THE KID TOUGH FIS I'M A FAN OF THE KID TOUGH FISHER PRICE DVD PLAYER~IN BLUE :)

  • From: tarahmom
  • Description:

    WE ARE FANS OF ANYTHING CLAIMING TO BE "KID TOUGH". BUT WE ARE BIGGER FANS OF DVD PLAYERS!!! MY SON WITH AUTISM IS OBSESSED WITH MOVIES. SO TO COMBINE THE QUALITY OF FISHER PRICE AND THE DVD PLAYER IS OUT-OF-THIS-WORLD-AMAZING!!! WE WOULD LOVE TO HAVE ON OF THESE. ****WE ALSO NOTED THAT THEY COME IN PINK, AND SINCE WE HAVE A BOY, THE BLUE ONE WOULD BE TOO COOL!!!!!****

  • 1 year ago
  • Views: 113
  • Forum: Giving Back...

• You Get What You Get You Get What You Get

  • From: Julie_Cole
  • Description:

    Since most parents are not particularly fond of whining, “you get what you get and you don’t get upset” is a common mantra in many households. It is most often heard immediately following annoying requests such as “but I wanted to sit in THAT chair” or “no, not the blue plate, the RED one!”

    The adult version of “you get what you get” is when you have a baby. Not a lot of social engineering is involved so you can’t exactly order a baby of a particular gender or personality type. You can’t even count on baby being healthy so parents everywhere have to take what we get.

    When my son was diagnosed with autism, I was pretty darn sad. I quickly realized that it was time to look myself in the mirror and scream the mantra. Being upset was not going to help me and it certainly was not going to contribute to my son’s development.

    My SIL had to say the mantra to herself a few years ago upon discovering she was pregnant for the third time. She had two little boys already but being pregnant again was not the issue. Indeed, she had decided to quickly squeak in one more baby, preferably a girl, before changing her mind on going for a third child altogether. You can likely predict the ending – instead of that little girl, she got identical twin boys landing her in the glamorous position of being a mama to four boys under four.

    Despite our reproductive plans going a bit pear-shaped, both my SIL and I have survived our adventures with laughs and a lot of love. Strangely, we’ve experienced some disapproval from those on the outside. While pregnant with the twins, my SIL had to listen to comments such as “oh, how awful!” when announcing she was having two more boys. People have expressed that I must be crazy to have more kids considering my risk of having another child with autism. I get that raising a kid with autism or having babies two at a time may not be on everyone’s “bucket list” of things to do before dying, but I can think of worse things.

    So we grown-ups get what we get, and as you have probably figured out for yourself – getting upset is pretty much pointless. I can’t imagine a world without my boy and I can assure you that my SIL wouldn’t trade in “Thing One” and “Thing Two” for the most adorable girlie pink princess up for offer.

    

  • Blog post
  • 1 year ago
  • Views: 105
  • Not yet rated

• Out of the Closet Out of the Closet

  • From: Julie_Cole
  • Description:

    

    As some of you know, my oldest kid has autism. We take this autism stuff pretty seriously and as a result he has made remarkable gains. Indeed, to the untrained eye he is indistinguishable from his neuro-typical peers.

    Last weekend four of the kiddos did a triathlon. When “Number One Son” finished the running component too early, it was obvious he got confused somewhere along the way. Turns out he went around the wrong pylon cutting the run short.

    That evening my 8-year-old daughter came into my office to have a chat about her brother:

    Kid: “Why did he get confused in the run today?”
    Me: “Well, there were no marshalls directing the kids so he went around the first pylon and came back.”
    Kid: “What is his ‘diagnostics’? I heard talking about it at a meeting once.”
    Me: “Was it the Autism Ontario meeting?”
    Kid: “Yes”
    Me: “Well, uh, autism. But he has worked pretty hard and kind of outgrown it.”
    Kid: “Like I outgrew my milk allergy?”
    Me: “Yes, kind of.”
    Kid: “Does he still have autism?”
    Me: “Do you think he does?”
    Kid: “I think he still has it a little bit.”
    Me: “Yeah, I think you’re right. Listen, I have not talked to him about it yet so you need to keep this private until I speak to him about autism.”
    Kid: “no problem.”
    Me: “Thanks for being such a cool kid.”
    Kid: “you’re welcome. Can I have a cheese stick?”

    Although I was shocked that the conversation happened, it’s actually kind of weird that it took so long to come up. I mean, we have an autism logo on our car, we do Cycle for Autism, hang out with people whose kids have autism, and participate in all kinds of activities within the autism community. Didn’t they ever wonder?

    I got to wondering about their lack of wondering – do all the siblings and cousins know about his autism on some level but just not question it? Maybe it’s a kiddo case of “it is what it is”.

    My mother often reminds us of the time she sat us down as children to discuss her sister, who has a mental disability. Mom first asked us if we knew anyone with a mental disability. We rhymed off the names of kids at school, a neighbour and other random people who did not actually have a mentally disability. The one name we didn’t say was that of our aunt, and this was an aunt we were close to and saw regularly. My mom always says that to us, our aunt was just herself – no title, label or explanation necessary.

    I’ve been dreading the day when I have to “out” my son to himself. I’ve played the conversation in my head a thousand times. This incident got me thinking that maybe all this worry is for nothing - maybe he is just like his siblings and cousins and already knows and accepts his autism.

  • Blog post
  • 1 year ago
  • Views: 94

• Fever and Autism Fever and Autism

  • From: march972
  • Description:

    I was just reading a blog of a mom with an Autistic child. He is sick and she was saying as much as she hates it when he is sick and has a fever he is "cured" of autism as long as the fever lasts. This prompted me to read some articles and I just found them facinating. i am not sure if anyone is interested but here is an article from hte journal of pediatrics from a little over a year ago on a study of the effects of fever of autistic children :

     

    1 year ago

  • Views: 43
  • Forum: General...

• Julie_Cole

  • Views: 345
  • Since: 1 year ago